


I'll Still Be Here (Even when I'm not)

by LingaQt



Series: Dream SMP Shots [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clay | Dream and Karl Jacobs are Siblings, Crying, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I never knew how much i needed this relationship, I will make this a thing even if it kills me, Karl Jacobs is Whipped, Karl is going to college, Platonic Relationships, and Dream is sad about it, but only a wee bit, until i saw it in a singular fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29867952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LingaQt/pseuds/LingaQt
Summary: In the darkest hours of the night, Dream finds himself unable to sleep, thoughts too rowdy and himself too restless to catch a wink of it. Finding that laying there and waiting it out is pointless, Dream decides to confront the main source of his worries, that being his older brother is going to college and leaving him behind.OrThey're brothers, your honor, and this is completely self indulgent, but I will die with it. Sue me.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Karl Jacobs
Series: Dream SMP Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146536
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	I'll Still Be Here (Even when I'm not)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been quite a while since I've posted. I actually had something else in the works, but I never got around to finishing it. It was a stranded island story. Would anyone be interested?
> 
> I'm a bit of a fan of this one, if only because of the relationship and a surprising amount of fluff. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated.

It was quiet inside the house, the air conditioner sounding impossibly loud in the silence.

  


Crickets could be heard from outside, singing in a constant, steady stream.

  


It was like a sheet of fog, settling over each room, broken as easily as a twig.

  


And yet, somehow Dream was even quieter.

  


His footsteps left no clues in their wake, and his breathing was barely there as he made his way through the hallway like a  wraith .

  


He continued like this until he finally reached his destination: a door at the end of the hall with the  lights on, shyly peeking through the cracks.

  


Stepping forward until he was right in front of it and raising his hand to knock, Dream  couldn’t help but hesitate and wonder if he was being silly. He could just go take a  Benadryl and go back to bed like that. Was it  really worth bothering his brother simply because of a few worries?

  


After thinking about it for a few moments, he let out a quiet sigh. He was already here. It was  probably best to just get it over with.

  


He gave three hesitant knocks and let his hand fall, waiting as the shuffling coming from within the room stopped, and after  a brief moment of silence, a small voice responded.

  


“Yes?”

  


Dream pushed down the feelings of regret building up inside him before answering. “Can I come in?”

  


There was a little more rustling before footsteps sounded, and then the door was opening and Dream found himself squinting at the light that now washed over him, too bright after he had grown accustomed to the darkness.

  


And then his older brother stood there, arms crossed, leaning against the door frame, a look of concern hidden behind a thin veil of curiosity.

  


"Hey Karl…" Dream  couldn't help trailing off, internally cringing at how awkward he felt.

  


Karl simply raised an eyebrow before stepping back and opening the door wider,  providing an unspoken invitation to come in.

  


Dream hesitates only a moment longer before accepting the invitation and stepping inside the room,  taking a look around. There are a few posters of his brother's favorite artists hung around the room, a desk on the far right, holding his computer which, from the way it emitted a dim glow, appeared to have been recently used. In the opposite corner was a shelf that held games, books, and a few other commodities. In the corner was a lamp that served as the main source of light for the room, and on the ceiling were dozens of star shapes that would shed the room in a dim glow after the lights turned off.

  


For the most part, it was the same as it had always been for as far back as he could remember. The realization filled him with both relief and dread. It was a strange feeling.

  


He was brought out of his musings by the sound of a soft click as the door shut behind him, as well as a question.

  


" So, you  wanna tell me what you're doing up so late?"

  


Dream had half a mind to  retort with the same question, but  ultimately thought better of it (If his mom were there, she would call it "oldest sibling rights," but Dream though that was a load of  crap ).

  


"Uh," he forced out, noticing that his throat was a little dry, "I guess I couldn't really sleep?" It came out uncertain and more like a question.

  


His brother studied him for a few moments with knowing eyes that grated on his nerves  more often than not before shrugging and heading back to his desk and plopping onto the  spiny chair in front of it that rolled back slightly with his impact. When Dream still  didn't move, Karl raised his eyebrows once again, giving him a curious look.

  


"Well? Aren't you going to sit down?" He motioned to his bed. Dream let out a quiet puff of air in understanding before moving to place himself gently on the soft surface. He felt more uncomfortable than he ought to be, but he  wasn't quite sure why.

  


If Karl noticed it (Which he did. He always did), he  didn't mention it, which Dream was slightly grateful for. Instead, he settled for asking the obvious.

  


"What's wrong?"

  


Really, Dream should have expected it. And he really had. It would be unreasonable not to considering the circumstances. But even so, he still found it unfairly difficult to address it, so he settled for giving a somewhat-but-not-quite-there answer.

  


"I guess I've just been worried about things," he said with a small shrug of his shoulders.

  


And that was true. He had been stressing about so much lately it was a wonder none of his hairs were turning gray.

  


But it was clear that  wasn't the answer Karl had been looking for, as he sat, waiting patiently for Dream to elaborate.

  


" Um… school has been on my mind a lot recently. And life in general?"

  


The last part sounded uncertain. And while it was still technically true, that  wasn't really the problem. 

  


And, of course, his brother saw right through him.

  


Karl let out a small chuckle. "School? C'mon Dream. I know you better than that. I think it would be safe to assume  there's more to it than that considering you  don't go back for another month.  So, what is it really?"

  


Oh. They were on summer break. How had he forgotten about that?

  


Dream took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was no point in trying to skirt around the issue. 

  


His shoulders slumped. "I just… I don't want us to drift apart when you go to college." He felt his voice  waver slightly as his breath hitched and-

  


Great. Now he was getting emotional.

  


"I mean, you're probably going to be super busy and then you'll barely have any time to call or visit, and I just really don't want that to happen."

  


Karl let out a small hum. "Dream, I'm still going to call home often. And just because I won't have a chance to visit as often as I would like doesn't mean that I won't still  make time for you all."

  


A part of him appreciated the attempt at reassuring him, but he still shook his head.

  


"You say that, but then one thing will come up, then another, and before you know it, we'll barely even speak to each other!"

  


Dream knew he was being ridiculous and that he was  most likely just overthinking things, but that  didn't stop him from being worried about it. 

  


He expected Karl to just laugh at  him or tell him he was being silly and that he should go to bed, or  _ something _ , but instead he continued to hum thoughtfully to himself before answering.

  


"When did this become a thing? You  never seemed to be worried about it before, so…"

  


Dream ran a hand through his hair a few times. It  most likely resembled a bird's nest at this point.

  


"I wasn't before, but I was talking to Techno a while ago, and he was telling me how he and his brother stopped talking as much after he went to college, and it just got me thinking."

  


Dream played with his fingers, unable to meet his brother's gaze. He could practically hear the gears in Karl's head turning as he spun silently in his chair.

  


The silence dragged on and Dream gradually grew more restless as he wondered if he should say anything more.

  


"I guess… I just don't want to lose you."

  


His voice was  quiet and  hoarse , and if the wavering  wasn't obvious before, it most definitely was now.

  


Dream hears the chair squeak as  he's once again consumed by his doubts. His brother was  probably busy . Why did he come here ?  He should have just taken a sleeping pill. Why was he so-

  


He was brought abruptly out of his  self-loathing by a warm hand rubbing soothing circles onto his back, and despite all his worries, Dream  couldn't help but relax a little.

  


"Sometimes it surprises me how much you're able to overthink things."

  


Dream  couldn't hold back his  somewhat indignant huff, but before he could protest, there was another hand gently guiding his head to rest on a shoulder, and Dream relented.

  


He heard Karl let out a small puff of air before he continued.

  


“That being said, it’s a little hypocritical of me to say that considering that I worry about it too.”

  


Dream blinked in surprise. “You do?”

  


Karl scoffed. “I feel like I should be offended," he said, but his tone was light. " Of course I do. I care about  you guys too.”

  


“Oh.”  It’s not like he  didn’t know that, and now Dream felt a little guilty for not thinking about that in the first place.

  


“Hey, I can practically hear you thinking from here. It’s fine,” Karl said, ruffling Dream’s hair a little. 

  


“Hey," Dream swatted at his  brothers' hands playfully before lifting his head up and turning so that they were facing each other, both of his legs on the bed and crossed. 

  


Karl took a moment to brush some stray strands of hair out of Dream's face before carding his hand through his hair gently and speaking again. “I know that it probably doesn’t seem like it, but I think about it too. I get scared that while I’m away, something bad will happen and I won’t be there to take care of  you guys .”

  


Dream huffed. “We can take care of ourselves too, y’know. We’re not children anymore.”

  


Karl raised his eyebrows.

  


“Well…  _ I’m  _ not a child anymore.”

  


Karl stared for a few more moments. “Sureeeee you’re not.”

  


“Hey!”

  


Karl laughed, ruffling Dream’s hair a little more, before dropping his hand and placing it on Dream’s.

  


“Anyway.  _ Yes, _ I know that  you guys are older, and you have our parents, but that  doesn’t make it feel any less like my responsibility. So,  yeah . I’m worried too.”

  


Dream looked down at where Karl’s hand rested on his own before taking it with both hands and holding it for a bit like that as he thought back to the weeks leading up to where they were now.

In the moment, his brother  hadn’t seemed doubtful in the slightest, quite the contrary,  whereas Dream could feel himself slowly  spiraling bit by bit, but when he looked back at it and focused on the details, they began to paint a different picture.

  


How Karl  seemed to spend less time with his friends and more time with his family. How when their younger  brothers asked him to play, Karl said yes most of the time unless he  actually wasn’t available, but even  then, he still made time later. How spontaneous family trips had  definitely increased . The way he would get simple yet meaningful gifts for them that he brushed off as early birthday presents or getting rid of something he  didn’t need  any more when there was clearly so much more to it than that if Dream just looked a little closer.

  


The way sometimes his eyes would grow  sad, and his smile would grow longing when he thought no one was there to see. When Dream asked about it, his brother just brushed it off as not  being a big deal .  So, Dream would let it go.

  


Maybe he shouldn’t have.

  


There was all of that and more, and Dream felt a little like an idiot for not being able to see it before. 

  


Dream took a moment to collect his thoughts, beginning to play with the fingers of his brother’s hands, before he spoke again. 

  


“So how do you deal with it?”

  


Karl shrugged. “I don’t. At least not really.”

  


Dream looked up in slight surprise, not having expected that answer, meeting his brother's eyes. “You don’t?”

  


“Nope. I  don’t really know how. Anyone  who’s ever said things start to make sense after you become an adult deserves to get dropped kicked because  they’ve been feeding us lies. I  don’t even feel like a person half the time. The only thing that officially becoming an adult does is make people think that you know what  you’re doing.  So, 10/10 would not be recommended. Stay 14, will  ya ?”

  


Dream was unable to help the small giggle that bubbled up, clearing his throat  in order to hide it, but it was futile as Karl was now giving him a look that was  _ sickeningly  _ fond.

  


He averted his eyes slightly, unable to help feeling a little patronized.

  


Karl continued, turning a little more serious. “I’m not sure what to do about it exactly because there’s not much that I  _ can  _ do.  It’s not like I can just  _ not  _ go to college.  Or I guess I could, but I think it’s pretty obvious why I’m not willing to do that.”

  


Dream nodded even though it  wasn’t a question. 

  


“I think that a lot of the time, the best thing we can do is accept that sometimes things happen that are out of our control and we can’t always do anything about that.”

  


Dream frowned. “But that’s…” He trailed off.

  


“I know,” Karl nodded, understanding regardless. “I don’t like it either. But that’s how things are sometimes.”

  


There was a moment as the two let the somber silence wash over them.

  


Karl slapped his free hand on his cheek, before shaking his head. “Wow.  I’m not good at this. I’m supposed to be making you feel better, not worse.”

  


Dream offered him a weak smile in return.

  


Karl let out a quick exhale before shaking his head again. “Let me try again. That was worded horribly.”

  


Karl’s nose scrunched up as he organized his thoughts. “Like I said, there will always be things we  can’t control, but at the very least we can try to control the  controllable s , I guess? My world history teacher used to tell my class that all the time.”

  


Dream nodded slowly. “But how do you do that?”

  


Karl gave a small shrug. “It depends. In our case,  I’ll find whatever time I can to talk to  you guys and visit.  Maybe I can’t do much more, But it’s not all hopeless.”

  


“I guess…” Dream said, looking at their connected hands and still feeling uncertain.

  


“Hey,” There was a gentle hand on his cheek, “look at me.”

  


Hesitantly, Dream glanced up again.

  


“I know that things are still up in the air and that you’re still unsure about a lot. And  that’s okay. What  you’re feeling is perfectly valid, and people  shouldn’t fault you for feeling that way. Not me, not anyone you know, and certainly not yourself, understand?”

  


Karl waited for Dream to respond. He paused, still feeling doubtful, but slowly nodded regardless.

  


“I can’t promise that things will be completely okay.  It’s impossible for anyone to say. But I can promise that no matter what happens, I still care for and love  each and every one of you no matter what, and  I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you know that. No way am I letting a little distance take that away from us.”

  


Dream merely nodded again, the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking.

  


“And, sure, maybe things won’t always work out.  I’d be surprised if that  wasn’t the case. I like to believe that regardless of what happens, things will find a way to work themselves out eventually. While we wait for that to happen, I think  it’s good that we take it in stride and focus on  whatever’s in front of us.  I’m here now, right? And right now, I  don’t plan  on going anywhere. And even when  I’m not physically with you, forgive the cheese,  you’ll still be in my thoughts and in my heart, and  I’ll be in yours as well. Got it?”

  


Dream  didn’t say anything for a long time, taking several moments to process everything that his brother said. It  wasn’t like he magically felt 100%  at the moment , but he did feel much better than he did before he came in.

  


After what felt like ages dwelling in his thoughts, Dream nodded once more. “Okay.”

  


But his voice was choked up and small, and, great, now he really was crying as he added, “Why do you sound so much like mom?”

  


And then Karl was chuckling  good-naturedly and pulling Dream into his warm embrace. "Well, she was the one who taught me all of my amazing wisdom, so I'm not surprised." 

  


Dream  didn’t know how long they stayed like that with Karl whispering soothing words of ' _ it's okay'  _ and  _ 'let it all out' _ while rubbing soothing circles into his back once again. All he knew was that Karl was safe and comfortable, and most importantly  _ still here. _

  


Just like he said  he’d be.

  


Eventually, Dream’s tears  stopped, and he finally realized just how exhausted he was. He  definitely didn’t want to move. 

  


Gathering up his courage, in a still small voice that was  muffled from the way his face was pressed against Karl's shirt, he asked, “Can… can I sleep with you tonight?” Then he held his breath. 

  


Karl laughed again, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. “It’s a good thing you asked, because you’ve already become my prisoner for tonight.”

  


Dream giggled again, and he  didn’t have the heart or the energy to pretend to be grossed out. 

  


Karl  smoothed out his hair before pulling away. “How about you lay down while I turn everything off, ‘kay?”

  


Dream hummed in  assent , a shy smile on his face as he crawled under the covers and pulled them over himself, snuggling into the warmth.

  


He watched as Karl saved whatever he had been doing on his laptop before shutting it down and closing it before moving towards the light and turning that off too so that the room was submerged in a warm green glow emitted from the ceiling stars. If he concentrated enough, he could almost believe he was looking at the actual night sky.

  


He felt the covers shift and the bed dip as Karl joined him, and he  immediately rolled over so that he was curled into his brother’s chest. 

  


Dream was almost annoyed at the fond chuckle that Karl let out, but once again  didn’t have the energy to bother.

  


“Ahh, you’re so cute, y’know.”

  


Dream huffed, and now he  _ was  _ annoyed.

  


“You’re like a grumpy cat and I just want to smother you with love and affection.”

  


“Shut up,” he grumbled sleepily.

  


“Maybe when I go to  college I’ll take you with me just so I can show everyone just how precious my little brother is. They wouldn’t stand a chance!”

  


“Be quiet!” he emphasized with a smack to the shoulder, ignoring his brother’s indignant gasp. His face felt hot, and he was glad that it was hidden from his brother’s eyes.

  


Karl  tsked . “My oh my. The blatant disrespect! This simply won’t do!”

  
That was the only warning Dream had before fingers were digging into his sides, scribbling all over his ribs and back.

  


He gasped before delving into a fit of  high-pitched giggles  muffled by his  brother's shirt, struggling and trying to  squirm away from the ticklish sensation.

  


“Stop it!” he said as loud as he dared, practically punching his brother’s shoulder, this time with the intent to do actual damage.

  


Thankfully, it was over as soon as it started, the offender’s hands settling for wrapping around his torso and pulling hi m closer as Dream went limp, struggling to regain his breath.

  


“Okay, okay,” Karl giggled, “you can stop beating me up now. I get your message loud and clear.”

  


Dream moved his head so that he could glare at his brother. “You suck.”

  


Karl’s face morphed into one of mock offense. “It sounds like someone needs to be taught another lesson.”

  


Dream gasped, eyes wide as he buried his face back into Karl’s chest, tensing up.

  


Karl let out a  gleeful noise, patting his back placatingly. “ Fine , I’m sorry. I merely joke.”

  


Dream  didn’t say anything, but he did allow himself to relax into the embrace.

  


This time, the silence that lingered over them was a comfortable one. 

  


“Karl?” Dream asked quietly,  so as to not wake him up if he was sleeping.

  


Karl  didn’t respond, but he did make a small noise to show he was listening.

  


“I… I love you too.”

  


For a long moment, Karl  didn’t say or do anything. Then he buried his face into Dream’s hair and hummed again.

  


“I know,” he said, placing another kiss on the crown of his head, and Dream could hear the smile in his voice. “Now go to sleep, Dream.”

  


Dream did just that, snuggling further into his brother’s chest and letting his exhaustion overtake him. 

  


For the first time in what felt like too long, his  slumber was peaceful and void of any disruptions. 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Karl: Ah, I love my lil' bro
> 
> Dream: Do not patronize me mortal
> 
> The ending made me really soft y'all. What am I to do?
> 
> Still, not my best. I think pacing is something I have a problem with it, so I'll have to work on it more, and I feel like it's a bit over the place in someplace, if that makes sense. Don't even get me started on the opening. Why does that always have to be the hardest part? But aside from that, not too bad, methinks. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments!


End file.
